In A Better Place

I ponder far too often what has brought me to this place,
I find myself in endless loop, alone while questions race.
How many lessons on this Earth am I required to learn,
And just how many points is it that I’m supposed to earn?

I watch the insignificance of daily life unfurl,
Forsaken to the sidelines, looking in upon the world.
I see the plastic people move about their daily lives;
their motions seem mechanical, as though they’re not alive.

I find I try to blend into this awkward mortal realm,
Performing for an audience … my senses overwhelm;
Synthetic shell in turmoil – I pretend that I’m alright,
I hide all my frustrations and I slowly lose the fight.

An emptiness has followed me relentlessly it seems,
a void that swallows all my passion … all my hopes and dreams;
its heaviness unyielding, builds restrictions and confines,
to keep me in this self-inflicted prison of my mind.

Surrounded by my chaos, isolated by my fears,
the questions haunt my peace of mind, bringing me to tears.
I wonder if it’s only me … a flaw in my design,
Unable to enjoy the simple pleasures others find.

Incapable of breaking free, suppressing what I can,
I play the part of someone else … I smother who I am;
I’m stifled by the walls I’ve built, and slowly suffocate …
I pray to God you’ll understand and I decide my fate.

Please know it’s not your fault and I’m sorry for your pain,
Just think of all the good things in the memories that remain.
I loved you all, don’t cry for me; I’m in a better place
I’ll be around in spirit
There’s some things you can’t erase...

By: Jayme Wilson 2005
In loving memory of my friend “Cher”